Wind Up Two Cents: 당신을 주문합니다 (I Order You) #05-#16 (Fin)

Heavy Do(n’t)sirak

closerangeGeez, finally… after had marathoned for these past couple of days, I unscathed-ly manage to finish my first ever web-drama, I Order You, which also marks the first K-drama that I’d watched after a verrry looong break. And, whoa… I have no better words to describe this experience other than I’m impressed. Massively. IOU is so beautifully written, so sweetly produced, and so perfectly tailored… to be a very spot-on reminder on why I hate Korean drama in general. No, no, no, seriously; the shuddering cheesy dialogues, the repulsive zoomed shot on everyone’s lips at the early episodes (that strawberry eating scene though. Gag.) The overdone effort to bring out the charming sexy-kinda-appeal from the main characters; everything, everything is so damn “impressive.” But what makes me IMPRESSED to the max, is how this drama could take a whole 180 in turning itself from an easy breezy romcom, to a depressing cliche love story. Ugh. IOU is a freaking troll indeed, with every character in this drama trolling us viewers, and each other right on the face, as like the “proposal-dosirak” kind of troll. Hah. Can’t believe that this fruitcake was sold on the highest price ever recorded for a web drama, which was almost half a million USDollerrrz, in Japan. Guess it solely lays on the name of star power… you know~ Haharharrrr… blerg.morning after(Spoilert: till the last crumb…)

Before my blabbering rant, dozo~here you go, clueless creatures:

In a nutshell: Park Song Ah (Kim Ga Eun) is an ordinary bubbly cheerful OL, who happened to stop by a small chic lunchbox restaurant named FL-ada, out of her brother’s request for a helping hand. There, she meets the flower-guy owner, Yeo Gook Dae (U-Know), and fell in love with him at the first sight. Thus, begin the savoury yet bittersweet romance between these two early strangers, who might have met not only by serendipity, but also by fate and unprecedented past.
Peanote: you don’t know how much sugar I had used to coat on writing this nutshell. It’s diabetic-ly overdoze. Lulz…
too close*Sigh*… from the very beginning, I always thought I could trust you, IOU; I thought I could trust you to be the one drama that I can watch while having my effing nonbiri Cleopatra pose and crunching my Cheetos away. Forferksake, how can I ignore the first four episodes, where everything went so cutesy flimsy and lulzy with the opportunist yet naughty mind Song Ah, trying to allure the snarky cunning Gook Dae in various of awkward embarrassing manners; like the slave contract stamp, or the hep-hap outfit (Hey, boo! Lol…) But then, you choose to turn yourself into a freaking melodrama shit like… aigooooo… why? WAE? Whyyyy? Why so serious? Why so angsty? Why so damn 2004? UGH. This drama’s plot execution is so effing Season Drama-ish, which is a major problem, cos how the heck can it crams such a heavy, draggy storyline into a 20 minutes episode each, if it won’t resulted as a hullabaloo mess? IOU bites more than it can chew; cooking in overheat; it resulted to a one helluva bitterly burnt of a drama. I must admit that I feel pretty embarrassed with my early optimism on my previous post as the fourth episode accomplisher, as quoted:

…Turns out people in general are too salty and skeptic, cos–so far–IOU is not bad at all. In fact, I quite enjoy the cheesy shits between the main couple…

And another one as quoted:

IOU is more playful and emotive, like a kind of love story teenage girl has imagined to happen in her RL … there’s still a one helluva room of shocking(!) plot twist and development, which I’m quite looking forward to. Maybe. So yeah bring out the mattress, cos Imma roll my ass to the next eps!!! Woohoo~

Ahahahhhhaaaa!!! I wish the “me” right now can strangle the “me” at that time for being so f**king naïve and obstinate to keep going on despite knowing the potential crapola that this drama might bring. But yet, why wouldn’t I? The cliffhanger on the fourth episode was sooo making it out (if you know what I mean… *snicker*) and it’s been putting my hope up on the pedestal.teeheeBut the continuation of that dugeun dugeun kissy scene is Gook Dae, out of the blue, admitting to Song Ah that he’s a divorcee?! WTF. I dunno why, but I found this part is so downright random and implausible. I mean, he didn’t even show his intention or real feeling towards the girl yet, and all of sudden he blurt out the family secret?! At this moment, I won’t blame Song Ah for having a shock blank stare, since somehow the whole thing is so disconnected, it comes out odd and reckless. But at this point, we have no logical reason to explain our question mark, other than the shortcoming in the episode duration instead, eh?!confrontationNot to mention IOU is so fricking yoyo with the main characters’ actions. One moment you got Song Ah having this fun and playful love drunk phase over Gook Dae, but next, all of a sudden, she turned to be this lil pushy dejected soul who’s so damn eager to know about Gook Dae’s feeling towards her like, “GIMME THE ANSWER NOWWW, GOOK DAE-SSIIIIII!!” kinda shit, sans the foot stomping thank goodness. But by the time she finally heard Gook Dae said the things that she always wanted to hear all this time, she brush off his confession, like farking dandruff on her shoulder. Everybody say wuttttt?!! This is also another headdesking and facepalming scene, cos it seems that she wants it to be him, but yet at the same time, she seems to not want it to be him. At this point, I was like, “which way do ya waaant dammit??!!” Ugh, watching this part makes me started to wonder what’s the real reason for Song Ah’s eagerness and anger in confronting Gook Dae? Is it cos she likes him, likes him? Or she’s simply just doing a fact checking out of her curiosity? This is absurd, cos if you can’t accept him for who he is, then why the heck do you even care to know who give the freaking chu on your forehead, Song Ah-ssi??!! Wouldn’t it be better to just let what happened in the hospital, stays in the hospital, hmmmm?!kevin from USANot to mention on the fifth episode onwards, we got ourselves a new cast, who is the charismatic, sweetheart, perky USA boy, Kevin a.k.a Gyeong Joo (Jang Seung Jo), the Song Ah’s former childhood/desk buddy who’s homecoming from the land of second chance, as he become our second lead yoooo! Everybody, throw yer hands in the air! *whoop whoop* I just seriously don’t get it, as in WHY we need his appearance as another duration waster to this supposed simple fluffy drama, since he’s just being this typical good guy whom intended to bring out your second lead syndrome, but fail, cos I’d find him and all his scene boring as heck, aside the fact that he looked a lil like Jaejoong with crow’s feet. Lulz… Not gonna lie, but I actually almost fell asleepZZZ on the sixth episode at the scene of him and Song Ah being drinking buddies and karaoke-ing together. And his reminiscing date with Song Ah to their old elementary school… *snoring* . Moreover, we don’t need another shitty love angle-here-angle-there to take the remaining squibble of joy that this squibble drama still have, cos heyyy, you know, as predictable as we and the whole world can guess; there will be Gook Dae EX-WIFE to screw everything up anyway on the near future. Ahahaha… *mental laughter*past n presentBy the time I reached the ninth episode, where Kevin was shown to give up on pursuing Song Ah, I actually felt some sort of genuine relieve, cos I thought that this draggy misery has finally comes to an end, but then the cliffhanger is trolling us back for the nincompoop nth times, with another roadblock in a shape of an ex-wifey. Dayum. I was like “Dude… not again, nooooot agaiinnnnnn!!! Nooooo!!! Aiiiyyyyyyyy!!!!” *hairpulling* And the great depression didn’t stop there, as Da Hwa the ex (Goo Jae Yi) keeps haunting over her former hubby’s relationship with Song Ah by using the typical K-drama trope tactique, like threatening Song Ah to stay away,  or telling “the story of us shit between her and Gook Dae (“Do you know where ‘FL-ada’ name came from?” Sheez…)psssshhhhhitBut the cycle of doom won’t be completed without the majestic final piece, which is a buried evilllll dark past, in a shape of… a secret wooden box! Hidden in Gook Dae’s messy wine cellar! Like. OH. MY. GAWTTT! By the time I reach this eleventh episode, I already lost half of my soul and the entirety of my interest; it reaches to a point of watching this had become 24K purely obligatory, for damn three reasons: 1.) Cos it’s way too late for turning back to activate my halfway syndrome and un-watch what I had already watched; 2.) Cos I really love that majimak insa song till the last bit of my remaining soul; and 3.) Cos I gotta make a review post about this depressing crap.consolingGee golly whizzz, the next debacle of Gook Dae’s baggage of having his “mom” a.k.a. babysitter killed in a car accident somehow ring the soooo effing bell with Song Ah’s makjang past, cos both are way too similar, and it doesn’t need a fricking rocket science to put the two and two together in ORDER to know what happen next, since everything’s so damn predictable, starting from the passionate love scene in the name of kindred spirits, to the some-some of the beans that Da Hwa spills to our dearly lovebirds. Except for the “it’s not your fault” bracelet that Song Ah bought for Gook Dae, which is so effing troll of her to make a memento for his guilty feeling. Hah.

the shade though... lulz...
the shade…is real. Lulz…

In the midst of this topsy turvy, my deepest condolences are definitely for none other than the two FL-ada dudes (or should I call’em… FL-adudes? Lol…) Bi Ryeong and Soo Ri for become the epitome of nothing but peanut gallery. I mean, they’re so underutilized despite having so many potential to be the feel good side stories. Honestly, if I could choose, I would absolutely, in a heartbeat, prefer to watch Soo Ri’s story with his gf, or Bi Ryeong’s possible romance with Da Hwa, (cuz they looked good together okayyy…) rather than watching the scene of Gook Dae and Song Ah being emo in sharing their past baggage in tears and useless comforting words, cos that scene somehow was so damn long and coma inducing.

where Snoopy when u need him?
where’s Snoopy when u need him?

I’m seriously mourning for this drama. Really. I’m shedding all my tears, nunmul, and namida; cos IOU has so many upsides, starting from the feel-good fluff and cheerful vibe that it brings, to the good line of casts–like both of the moms are awesome despite having only small screen times; and the Park Songs are appearance-wise really believable to be the bro n sis–Heck, even the main leads’ acting of U-know and Kim Ga Eun were exceeding my expectation, dammit. IOU has its multiple shining moments, but what I remember the most are the confrontation scene on the eighth episode where Gook Dae finally tell Song Ah his true feelings for her; the dimmed lights setting, the BGM, the emotional conveyance, along with the glassy teary eyes were so effing nailed the whole shit, especially when Gook Dae retaliates Song Ah’s “it’s too late” cynical quip with, “…but it’s also too late for me to change my feelings. This is just the beginning.” Aaah~ those lines are kinda cheesy, but it’s so good alrite-o.too lateAnd how I luuurve the coloration and cinematography of this drama cos it’s so comfy on the eyes, and it certainly boosts the romantic effect of the kissing scene on the fourth episode for a thousand folds. Imo, whats contribute in making that “first kiss” scene between Gook Dae and Song Ah to be so damn d’awww is not only because of how good they’re sticking their lips or the way they’re making it lingers; as the other major factor is also from the way those scenes were executed. I mean it’s so, ugh… how can I explain this; it’s so beautifully shot, it reached to a level of visual that make it seems like a dream-like sequence of a fluttering romance. Especially when the camera was shot from the Gook Dae angle. Geezzz, I dunno why, but I really, really like that part cos somehow we totally can feel the rush of his feeling in wanting to kiss the girl. It’s just so, ugh. It’s so effing worth every penny of da feelzzzz dammit.

aaa, my kokoro... <3
aaa, my kokoro… ❤

But yet, all that merit were wasted away in vain by the time this drama keeps deteriorating itself as the episodes go by, with the last three to become the ultimate nosedive; and also the truest test for the surviving masochist viewers, cos everything turns sappy. Like, really really sappy, and makjang. Like really really makjang. And I was soooo… Ahahaha!!!. I was so damn wish I could pour gasoline, light a fire, and burn this drama down while chanting “diggin on yo faiyaaaah~” for like, five bazinga zillion times, cos Imma lose my shit at this point. boohooHOLY! BEESWAX! The! Bawling! The! Efftard! Freaking! Bawling! Everybody criiiiieeeessss!!! Everybody hates themselvessss!!! Including meeeee!!! Cos I make myself watching this drama up until this moment. Goshdarnit. I hate how things turned to be somewhat really burdening up our soul to the max, when in fact we’re supposed to enjoy and be happy along the watch, cos isn’t that the whole point of a drama to be made, which is to ENTERTAIN the viewers?!?!?! Durrrr… The way IOU become this uber shitty in revealing the fact that Gook Dae–unintentionally–had caused Song Ah’s mom to die in that traffic accident were making me rolling my eyes so hard, it fall out of the sockets. Gah. I never said that I want to sign up for a teary-tragedy-porn kind of drama like this one.dahwa the good exIf there’s a silver lining from the whole turd, is that turns out Da Hwa is one of the most awesomest characters ever written in K-drama history, cos she has this swaggy attitude and audacity to confront Song Ah the spoiled brat, while telling her the whole truth in a very maturely elegant manner. I won’t even brand her as shameless for asking Gook Dae if they could get back together again, nor if she could be the one for him, cos what happened in the past is practically not her fault (heyyy, she should get that Song Ah’s troll bracelet too! Lulz…) And imo, she has every right to be the demanding ex-lover.break upIn fact, by the time we reach the thirteenth episode, I found myself feeling sorry for Da Hwa, cos she got trolled by Gook Dae’s mom into doing the noble idiocy act back then, while on the present day, she got told by Gook Dae to make one more sacrifice by letting him go. Awww, Da Hwa-ssi… *sniffle*. Honest to the maxes, I actually kinda want Da Hwa to get back together again with Gook Dae, cos she’s actually deserve it. Chick only has sincere love for her man and you can’t blame her for being bitchy about Song Ah, since Song Ah is basically a competition that she supposedly shouldn’t need to face, as she never betrayed Gook Dae at first place, like he always thought she had.group meetingThe only mistake that Da Hwa did, aside her miscommunication with Gook Dae before the wedding ceremony, is that she’s coming back to his life just a lil bit too late. Be it one year earlier, they’re definitely will be back together and there will be no Song Ah the slowly-becoming-pain in the ass-chick *sigh* Well, I guess we can’t always get what we want, even though we really wish for it, which in this case is my second lead syndrome towards the ex-wifey. Sorry Kevin, you’re cute, but you’re not my type. (Actually all Kevin that I know is not my type, well maybe except this Kevin. Kaykay, sorry for my dry joke. Lulz…)on the rockAs for the ending… I must say that things were wrapped up pre~tty nicely, despite the fact it was a lil bit hasty. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have any more beef for this drama. Cos I am… and I will always… have one. Lulz. My first beef is sorta major, which is the fact that Song Ah, till the very end, has never even apologize to Gook Dae over her offensive statement regarding her misunderstanding about her mom’s situation, despite she had already known about the truth, and she had uttered the harshest words that anyone could said to someone, with the slapping as a bonus. Words are like the double edged sword Song Ah-ssi, ya gotta say yer sorry though it won’t fix a shit completely, but NOOO! She instead apologize to Gook Dae over… Song Joo who had punched him priorly. Gosh, these crazy siblings *roll eyes*. Two; the fact that Gook Dae is releasing a cookbook and the interviewer for the ‘about the author’ segment is asking him questions as if she’s a Dispatch or Friday reporter. “I heard you broke up with your girlfriend…” pfffttt… what the heck.haguAnd numero three; this drama has been so generous in giving us fangirl-servicey skinship and intense romantic scene, is that too difficult to just give us a one freaking last kisu as the heartwarming final bow? Huh? Or maybe just a lil peck on the lips? Pweeeetty pleeeazzzeee… Cos dude, the “I order you” line is so spot on and cute alright, but what the heck with Gook Dae hugging Song Ah like a damn cassie with a lil pat pat on the back?! Dammit, I know she had bought your book, Gook Dae-ssi, but that doesn’t mean you have to treat her like she’s your effing fan as well. Doh, that was sooo downright anticlimatic.dinnerIn the end, it takes a village of perseverance to finish I Order You, cos you gotta have this certain kind of self-torturing complex, for being able to stomach this salad of pain and agony. Don’t get me wrong, cos I Order You is really not a bad drama, but the way it gave us hopeful starters to just then bring us down into the gutter of pedestrian overused plot later on, is what totally disappointing and kills the mood. I Order You might have been a decent fully-fledged romance drama, if it’s given the right amount of duration. But still, it can’t hide the fact that this drama had chosen to chew the same small unsavoury bite over and over again, despite being served with sundry delectable set of promising potentials.

Final Score: 58/100

if only they can manage their fluffiness... *sigh*
if only they stayed fluffy… *sigh*
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