KAT-TUN: The Metamorphosis
Hey-looooo, my hyphen-squids!!! See, I keep my promise as I say I’ll be back, right?! I told you I always try to finish what I started. So don’t you worry, my precious nuggets, for I shan’t desert you. Ahahahaha…Now let’s pick up what we’ve left off, shall we? Continue!! *gavel knocking*
09. To The Limit (2012)
Overall: Nakamaru saves the day, literally. I think this is the only KAT-TUN PV with the most clear concept and normal execution, unlike the other PV with over the top and over messy result (One Drop, anyone??) Well, basically it’s about a bank robbery, or more detailed, it’s about a robbery in a bank that full of American/European people (as always) and two KAT-TUN members as bank teller and security guard (Nakamaru and Koki) and three other members as customers. Then suddenly 3 bank robbers entering the scene (I bet they are the Beagle Boys..lol) and terrorizing everyone. Oh noes!!!! And then they tie up the 2 least important members (Taguchi and Ueda), and take Kame as hostage, and then pointing gun at his head. Seriously, the robber-chan is clearly looking for his own death, cos he doesn’t know that hyphen fan girls are tougher and more ferocious than a piece of metal bullet. Lol. And then we have a cheap-budget flashback of Nakamaru childhood as he learned how to do karate. So, he suddenly kick! Chop! Gobsmacked! the robber-tachi, and the other four join in as well, and they save the fricken bank. Oooh, My heerooo!! *old Merrie Melodies voice*
Member’s appearance: For the first time so far, no one looks like a dingbat here. Everyone looks okay and super normal. Even Koki suits the perm hairstyle just fine, since it’s hiding his pale looks a bit..hahaha. No complain.Performance wise: Hmmmm… how do I say this…It’s a complete kerfuffle. So many absurdity I can’t even point my finger at which one. First confusion, the opening pose. As the intro starts they’re just stand there on a circle in the middle of the stage and I was like “wait a minute, are they…praying???” Anoooo…KAT-TUN boys, if you want to have a group pray, you can do it backstage, okay? Good. Second, say hello to Kazuya Stevie Wonder-nashi. Gee golly, Kame, what the effffff with that fricken sunglasses, dude??!!! And it’s not even a hip-cool glasses, it looks like hey –look-what-I-found-in-my-attic sunglasses, and Kame looked un-focus at least for the half of the song while crazily body-waving here and there. Man…*sigh* Third, the choreography; Gosh, for the love of cream puff, it’s a nincompoop mess; they’re so all over the place. If we can metaphor them with food, they’re like a scramble egg being stirred on the frying pan. One goes over here, the other one goes over there, Nakamaru almost bump his ass to Koki, whoopsie daisies all the messes!!!
Overall: This is a very simple (or lazy) concept of KAT-TUN PV that I watch. Basically the KAT-TUN boys only dance in white background. Then we have the usual acting-cool one on one shot. But that’s not enough, isn’t it??!! What to add, what to add…oh, I know lets add the bowling tournament scene! Where the boys practically compete with…no one. So basically they compete with themselves, cheering up by themselves, and win the trophy by themselves.
Haarhaaarhaaarrr…*cynical laugh* Seriously, where all the budget go? Is it to the CG title that shown in the last for a nano seconds? Why can’t they afford to hire extras to be, I dunno, the competitor group maybeeeee??? Well well..it is what it is, so take it, take it take it take it!!!! Lol. Truth be told, this PV is one of my faves and the dance choreography is my favourite among others. Even though on the dance scene Kame looks kinda soggy, maybe it’s because they shot the dance scene for hundred times in a row. Oh, Kame, you poor lil turtle, lol. And my other favourite part is how Nakamaru’s beatbox mixed with the last chorus; it’s really unique and up-beat. But there’s one thing that bugs me, it’s Koki’s gibberish rapping; seriously it’s like “Fire”–>“Faiah-yah-yah”, “Sky high”–>“Sky haiah-yah-yah”, “Tired”–>“Taiah-yah-yah”. OM-fricken-jay!! Shut up!!! It’s annoying!!! Geez…
Member’s appearance: Three words best describes how they look here: goldie, messy, and skinny. They all look like they’re in the middle of promotion. You know, like when about to promote sumthin, like album or single, they get a make-over session: hair-trimming, kinda stuff. But when they’re in the midst, like this case, they all look scraggly, but the make-over schedules isn’t happening yet. So, endure that messy looks, boysssss.
Performance wise: There’s one performance where the KAT-TUN boys look particularly more fired up than usual. I dunno why, but there’s a hearsay that the choreography was made by one of the dearest members, Taguchi-kun. So maybe they got all excited like “Yeah!! This choreography was made by one of our homies!! Let’s show them what we got, guyssss!!!” Lol, I can clearly imagine that happening…Oh one thing, Kame’s hair is so eewww, it looks like he’s wearing bandana for too long and suddenly he has to take it off to perform. It looks flattened and…oily. Brrrr….*shuddering*
11. Face to Face (2013)
Overall: Aaaahhh…Face to Face, a song with the famous iconic “俺が誰か? 誰が俺か?—Who am I? Who is me?” line. But, if the PV could be described in one word it will be: Boooorrriiinnng!!! Even though this PV looks very normal with un-corny CG, but man, I almost fell asleep when I watch it, and I’m not even sleepy at that time. So, basically the PV concept is about KAT-TUN being FACE to FACE with themselves..ooohhhhh…artistic…not.And then there are 3D kaleidoscope-esque scenes of KAT-TUN member inside another KAT-TUN member, who’s inside another member, who’s inside another member; seriously you’ll get dizzy and hypnotized if you’re keep watching that scene. But the problem is, that hypnotizing scene last verrrryyy loooong and keeps going on…and on…and on.
Maybe they’re INDEED trying to hypnotized us, y’know , like in the film Josie & The Pussycats, where the teenagers got hypnotized with various suggestions beneath the recorded songs. Well, maybe this song slips a suggestion like “KAT-TUN is the hippest androgynous ghey-boyband in the wooooorrrllllddd!!!” or “you’re gonna buy KAT-TUN CD rightaway!!!” OMG…no wonder they always get the #1 spot on sales chart consecutively since their debut, turns out they ARE the real world of Josie & the Pussycats. Well, in this case, it’s Kame & the Fuzzycats. Lol.
Member’s appearance: Aside from the usual hangover-look Koki, everyone looks fine here. No over the top wardrobe, and their expressions look miserable, I dunno whether it’s an act or they indeed feel that way.
Performance wise: Well, I must say that the performance is… bazingabillionth times betterrrrrr than the PV.The unsynchronized choreography was really good and not cheesy; the KAT-TUN boys wardrobe are matchingly un-embarassing, and most of all, they‘re singing live(sorta) and it’s really good. Brrrrravo!!! *clapping hands in appreciation*
12. 楔 -kusabi- (2013)
Overall: This is the first KAT-TUN PV without the beloved Koki-chan, as now they’re down to the magnificent K4 a.k.a Kerfuffle 4. Lol. And I must say that this is also the gloomiest and most serious KAT-TUN PV ever (is it bcos Koki left??). So the PV is about the quartet exploring dark woods in slo-mo and singing in desperate expression. And then we got another scene where a bunch of refugees looking for a shelter and they all look dirty and miserable, but KAT-TUN just kept singing near the trees in the dark. Damn, KAT-TUN quartet, there’s a bunch of people that need your helping hands, do something other than singing that gloomy song!!! But, wait a minute, WAIT A FRICKEN MINUTE!! Suddenly the refugees find a light in the middle of the woods that’s shining down from above! Hmm, I wonder what that is…and then we got another scene of each KAT-TUN member holding a CG light orb! Ooohhhh….so mysterious…And then we got another scene of the refugees found 4 lights on the middle of the lake! Wow! So…is KAT-TUN a bunch of magical creatures?? Like leprechaun, unicorn, or…Bigfoot??? omaigawwttt….Sugoiiiii!!! Amazing!!! That’s why they’re wandering in the woods!!! I knew it! Hahahaha! Actually, when I first watched this PV and I saw the 4 lights scene, I felt a shiver of secondhand embarrassment that the members will suddenly show up in the middle of the light like BAM! And start doing something disastrous like solo dance or something (Ultimate Wheels, anyone??) but thank goodie good shoes for they are NOT doing that. Well, if they are, it will be an overboard cheesy WTFery fest. So..phew~! *wiping cold sweat*
Member’s appearance: Every member got a brownie points for looking really good here, which I think it happens for the first time ever (Is it bcos Koki left? lol). No ugly scape goat member that we can mock (damn it!).
Performance wise: it’s an okay performance; the members look fine, and the choreography isn’t embarrassing. Even though—since it was a remix collab performance with a DJ—there’s one move when the DJ start to whew-ew-whew! the music disc and the members start to ‘transferring’ the waveeee from Kame! To Ueda! To Taguchi! And finally, Nakamaru! And he sings! Wow, what a cheese-head. Lol.So, in the end it’s all an averagely fine performance, BUT…for the love of chicken nuggets, Kame’s hair is so..ugh. I know, I know, he got a film shoot about being a fricken military spy or something like that by the time they’re promoting this song, but this hair makes Kame look old and he looks like…mmm, how I should describe it…a squirmy version of Nishikido Ryo. Lol. I’m gonna send him a package of hair growth tonic product with a message: “Squirmy Nishikido: NO! Fluffy Hair: YES!!!!!” (I miss you, “Run for you” Kame!! No, not you Kame, only your hair! Lol)
13. Gimme Luv (2013)
Overall: KAT-TUN boys are asking us to give them luv…in a hard-core way. Lol. This is the second PV from their Kusabi album, and this is also their second serious slash gloomy PV…from their Kusabi album. Hah. But in my opinion, this PV is much more better than Kusabi because: 1) the song is more rock-esque; 2) they’re dancing, so it’s not a boring watch; 3) there’s no absurd question-raising factor such as bonkers android chic or a bunch of refugees looking for unicorn (or should I say unicot-tun?? Okay, I know it’s a little forced, lol); and finally 4) there’s no CG in sight!!! Hooraaah!!! I think KAT-TUN starts to take a serious path to manhood, for they are no longer looking cheesy or over the top embarrassing. So this PV only revolves around KAT-TUN in (what I think is) an empty red warehouse where they were being shot singing, and also there’s a solo shoot in black and white and up close, like really REALLY up close to the face, it’s like you almost can see everyone’s zits. Lol.And then there’s another scene where they’re dancing on a high pedestal, throwing tantrum screaming “GIMME LUV! GIMME LUV!” while jumping and kicking the air. But don’t you worry, my child, for the scenes are executed nicely. Thank goodness. *relieved sigh*
Member’s appearance: In this PV they also suit up in black ensemble, and for the first time ever..EVER…–compared to their good ol’ black suit days in One Drop—they have the potential to be…hot.Like seriously, everyone looks serious and manly here. Even though Kame really looks like he’s about to die in any minute. Boy…he looks old and tired. It seems like he hasn’t sleep for days, becos he got that Badz-badz Maru look with those eye bags. Not to mention his hair looks messy and dry like a large pile of hay. Well, that’s the price to pay for being the most popular gheyboy. Hah! All I can say is: “Go Kame! Our beloved swaggy turtle!” *waving fan-club light stick*
Performance wise: Dear KAT-TUN boys, I give my blessing for you guys to dress up in black for the rest of your fabricated-idol life. Cos, dude, if we put aside Kame’s eye bags, you can say that they all look…snappy. Hahaha…Even though Taguchi is so over-hyper–or over-dopping maybe, I dunno–cos he’s dancing like 5000 steps ahead the other members. But overall: snappy, snappy, snappy. *snapping finger repeatedly*
14. In Fact (2014)
Overall: Everyone says that third time is a charm, and third time can also mean to solidify something. In my opinion, KAT-TUN makes a clear statement of “we’re no longer a bunch of cheeky bubble gum androgynous boyband, for we are now MANBAND!!!” through this PV. I’m proud of them, really, but at the same time, I’m sad for myself…for there are no longer laughable things that I can point my fingers at in their appearances and performances. Gosh, I miss those good ol’ days when they’re body waving in colourful corny wardrobes while singing brainwash-motivational tunes..*sobbing* Okay, back to the topic. So this is the third consecutive manly-serious PV of KAT-TUN, and this time, the song is even better than the previous two. It’s so catchy and cool, in my opinion.The concept is just they’re dancing in train-wreck-patternful clothes, and then there’s a scene when they’re dressed up in black (yesh! Another black ensemble) and then there’s a collage square-y solo shoot of the members, you can say it almost like “Gimme Luv” but less hardcore. Or it’s “Gimme Luv” pop version. Hah, there I said it! But the choreography is sorta off to me, especially at the interlude part, where they shoulda woulda coulda been more impacto! In their dance moves, but HEEEYYYY…!!!!!…..they don’t. But look at the bright side, mi amigos, for the crab-leg dance move is back!!! And it’s also at the chorus!! Woohoo!!! Me love the crab-leg dance move!!
Member’s appearance: KAT-TUN is Ohana. Ohana means family, family means nobody left behind or…–say it with me *giving mic to the readers*–…forgotten. Ding Dong!! Bingo!! So Kame, you shall never be a badz badz maru alone, for Nakamaru and Taguchi come to join you to be the eye bags brotherhood!! Woohoo!! Okay, enough with the spaz. In conclusion: Squirmy-Nishikame is back (geez, I hate that hair!!) and everyone looks good, and tired. The KT-N looks eye-baggy and pale like they just had a rough night (oh noes! Is this the Koki’s curse??!!) And Ueda looks like he just finished smoking 10 packs of cigarettes. Hopefully you get your day off soon, my children. *pat each member on the back*
Performance wise: A bit messy, but at least they’re singing live–half and half, I think. So I’m gonna give them the “you tried” badge for the effort. Fashion-wise they all look fine. And at this performance, the crab leg dance move was shot clearly (yay!) Here’s the move that I meant all this time (for those who curious enough): I dunno why I love that move you know. Gosh…me such a freak, ahahahaha… Overall it’s another fine performance by KAT-TUN homies. Just fine, nothing more.
15. Come Here (2014)
Overall: First, lemme say this: FINALLY!!! A REAL CHIC MODEL!! As she’s from a real flesh, breathing, purrrr-tty, AND ALLOWED TO BE ON THE SAME SCENE WITH KAT-TUN!! Omjayjay KAT-TUN-tachi, omedetto gozaimasu!! You reach your coming of age as the idol group, now that you’re allowed to have a contact with real woman in your PV. Woohooo!!! *throwing confetti*
So, after being serious for three times in a row, this time the KAT-TUN posey choose to do a bit of comic WTFery PV, in a good way. This is a well-executed PV in my opinion, for they are being funny, without being embarrassing. Well, mostly in the past, all their funny WTFery moments are unintentional where they tried their ass off to be the hottest Johnny’s ever existed. But here, they reach the intention nicely and spot-on. So…Bravo, KAT-TUN, bravo *clapping hands*. Well, the PV theme is summer, as KAT-TUN members lying on the ‘sandy beach’ with full clothes on—becos it’s forbidden for them to lay their skinny twiggy bodies on the real sandy beach and get a real tan; oh, it’s a hell to the NO *waving index finger*–and suddenly there’s one pretty girl that had her hat flew by the wind, and so the members are running in slo-mo to catch that hat.And then, there are the members doppelgangers as well (Kame – beach ball & swim tube sellers, Nakamaru – nerd high school student, Ueda & Taguchi – unmasked robber & policeman) and they all got into a hilarious snowball effect from the flying hat. And then there’s another KAT-TUN again, singing as a group. Boy, there are so many KAT-TUN there…as if one is not chaotic enough, lol. Is this a rip-off of Ore Ore? Well, can I call it KATTUN KATTUN then? Ahahahaha…(gosh my joke is as dry as their fake beach sand).If I have to choose who’s the funniest here, I’d say it’s Nakamaru, cos he fits the dorky klutz looks like a frill socks. I think this PV is very KAT-TUN and very original.
Member’s appearance: the best looking member in this PV is Taguchi I must say.
And if I have to choose the second best, it’ll be Ueda. Well, Nakamaru is so…Nakamaru with the same hair style since 2011 (happy 3rd year anniversary, Nakamaru’s hair!! *blowing candles*) and Kame…ugh..Kame looks like a tofu here, as his hair looks so…bedraggle. Hah, I lost for words. The point is, his hair reminds me of the early 90s Aaron Kwok. There, I say it. Lol.
Performance wise: It was supposed to be another passerby performance, but somehow in this perf, the members look very enjoying their live singing and dance. And I must say that the dance is quite cute despite the “My bunny, come here baby..” line that makes me go….pfffffttttt….bwahahahaha!!!I just can’t help to bite my carrot and answering them with, “eeeeyyy, Whatssup, doc?” Omggggg…thank goodness, KAT-TUN boys, for you still have that cheesiness in you; it’s like a sleeping bakemono waiting to be awaken, huh?! Lolololol. *lowering voice* Awake the cheesy bakemono!! Bring the corny KAT-TUN back!!! Dun! Dun! Dun! *beating the tympano* oh, and they have modified the bonkers crab leg dance move to crabby leg dance 2.0! At the “Check this love…” part!! Allll-righty!!! Overall, it’s a very enjoyable performance. Well done and bravo, mi amigos por siempre muoy mucho fantastico!! Ahahahaha!! *crazy laugh at my random spanish*
Based on all of these musical journey and metamorphosis through all the PVs and performances, all I can say is, that KAT-TUN music is indeed a guilty pleasure, for their catchy jinglety tunes are so addictive, we just ignore the fact that their singing voices are shrill and…crispy (now I make it sounds more like potato chips. Lol). Well, it doesn’t matter anyway because aside from the shrill voice, KAT-TUN shall always be… unsynchronized. Hahaha…I don’t get it, I just don’t get it how in the world that they able to do that, how do they maintain to dance few steps ahead few steps behind like that for this fricken whole time. Wow…
When I watched one of their variety shows, Kame said that “it’s been 13 years since we started our debut together and we never slept in the same room.” Well, Kame-kame-chan, it’s been 13 years since you started your debut together, and you never dance in synch. Hah!….Wow, I’m being so judgmental here. Lol. Well, while I’m in this judging mode, let’s just move on to the extra, which brings us to the KAT-TUN PV COLLECTION AWARD: THE BEST and THE MOST!!! Yay!!! *crowd cheering* thank you! Thank you! Domo arigatzz-gatzz… Let’s jump to the categories rightaway!! Whoop dee doo!!!
01. Best Choreography
It’s definitely the 2012 KAT-TUN super catchy bombastic hit, “Fumetsu no Scrum”. Even though we had the hard core rock dance choreographies of “Lock On!” and “Gimme Luv” and even though we had the double combo crab leg dance moves and crabby leg dance 2.0 at “White”, “In Fact” and “come Here”; for me, “Fumetsu no Scrum” choreography shall always be the catchiest, most fun, and most N*SYNCH in-synch for the KAT-TUN-tachi. Especially that one fired up performance, which is the most memorable performance so far, and that perf is the only reason why I deplore Koki’s departure.
02. Best Cheesy Move/Gesture in a PV
Oh, darling…we have looots!!!! lol. But if I see it from a memorably cheesy factor, there’s only one winner: Kame in “D-Motion” PV.
There’s one scene (around minutes 02:42–it’s hard to be screen-caped, you gotta watch it yourself, haha..) when he tries to do a sexy(or gheyboy?) move by body waving and touching his neck and whatsoever, it was so…creeptastically shuddering. Well, there goes the beautiful imagery of Hiroto from my head. My THNK fangirl life shall never be the same again..*sigh*
03. Best Embarrassing Moment
Well, don’t you ever said that embarassing moment is the worst experience, for it could be the best…if it happens to our corny Johnny’s. Mwahahahahaha!!! *evil laugh*, okay, so I was a bit confused and namby-pamby to pick which one is the winner, because they have so many WTF embarassing scenes and moments at their PVs (hah!) but if I have to choose, then it will be one, and one only: The Solo session of “Ultimate Wheels” PV. It’s not supposed to be funny; it’s supposed to be a hot and awesome moment for the members to show off their skills. But..but…the “wasn’t supposed” factor is what makes this scene is so lolololol. For example: like Nakamaru and his hand gesture. Wigiddy wag, he looks like a mixture of dancing gecko…and rattlesnake. Bwahahahahahaha…
And Ueda, oh I dunno what the heck are you doing..Taguchi and Koki with the crazy somersault…I’m just speechless; and Kame..oh Kame, our beloved turtle…I just..*squirming*I just can’t…bwahahahahahhahaha!!!! For the love of papa puff, please never put skill “dancing” on your resume. Lol. Well, look at the bright side, at least he tried to dance manly…ahahaha *wiping laughing tear*
04. The Most Drastic Change of Member’s Appearance
This is more dramatic than the before and after weight loss revelation on “The Biggest Loser”, and there’s no need to think twice of who the winner is, for the absolute answer is definitely Ueda-kun.
Our boxer boy, Ueda goes from sissy androgynous boy with glittery butterfly tattoo on his neck at “Going!”, to manly bee sting-shaped hairstyle at “come Here”. It’s drastic, in a good way.
05. Best Looking Member in a PV
Okay, so we have two winners here. The runner up spot is filled with our dearest klutz nerd student, Nakamaru-kun in “Ultimate Wheels” PV.Aside the dancing gecko-rattlesnake moves, Nakamaru, the CF model, is the only good thing in that PV other than the song. Good job Nakamaru, you should thank your hair though, it’s been 3 years and it never lets you down or make you look uglay. Lol. As for the winner…Omaigawwwttt, you still need to ask this question???? It’s so obvious as the winner is my nerdy obsession, my overload fangirling enthusiasm, the one and only, Kame (and his magnificent hair) in “Run for You” PV.
Kame combination with that hairstyle happened as rare as Halley comet, for that fluff and arrangement makes Kame looks 1000x better than his usual cheese-head look. And that look is bazinga-trillionth times better than his now-Aaron Kwok-esque-tofu-squirmy-hair.Oh, Scraggly-fluff-haired Kame…please come back..*hand reaching*
06. Best PV
I just can’t only choose one, basically, so If I have to choose…let it be tres a.k.a three!!! As for the second runner up, we have “In Fact” with all the song, the setting, and the zero-cheesiness. The first runner up is “Fumetsu no Scrum”; I love this PV despite there’s a humongous elephant in the room. The song, the dance, and the beatbox are the triple threat. And for the winner is…*drum roll* It’s ”White”!!! yay!!! Woohoo!! *mouth whistling* I luuuv the colorful concept of this PV, and all the members look bearable here (except lady Taguchi of versailles and sissy-look Ueda), and “White” is also one of my fave KAT-TUN singles as well.
So, this is the end of the KAT-TUN PV COLLECTION saga. Overall, I can say is that KAT-TUN has their own turbulence along their journey, such as members departure, lack of activities issue, and so on. But in their ups and downs; in every cheesy PV they have to shoot; every trashy wardrobe they have to wear; every corny choreography and performance that they all have done and been through; one thing for sure is that they’re in it together; as the four boyband members that coming of age to be men. Well, I hope that they will stay intact as the magnifico quartet that steadily keep releasing awesome jingle singles and PVs and doing great performances—lip-synch or not–at least until apocalypse. Lol.
Thanks for reading this post and see you in my next one. Ciao~!